heartbeats

epic win. this is the spoil from tonights battle. *cue final fantasy victory music*

ITS A FUCKING STETHOSCOPE! I CAN HEAR MY HEARTBEAT!!!

also, free cocktails in no name, i spent no money tonight. epic win. i have to go out in a suit more often..

wrote some cracking material today as well, need to road test it at the multitude of fun gigs that i have coming up! :D

needless to say, tonight has made me happy.

of all the random shit ive brought home from nights out... traffic cones, road signs, clothes, hats, glasses... this has to be the finest prize.

all the shit that has gone down in the last few months and especially the last week has been pretty potent but i think ive cracked the secret to managing it, keeping positive and smiling like a fucking eejit all day.
take a problem and realise that its NOT A PROBLEM. problems are a matter of perception, and you can turn every one around on its head into an opportunity. ok, maybe not a terminal disease or anything like that. but in general, if you have anything to bring to that big table that is life, and you can bring it neatly presented on a pretty porcelain plate, youre going to do well.

when all else fails, take a problem, break it into the equivalent smaller more insignificant problems and destroy them.

smile and it'll sort your shit out.
make people cups of tea. give flowers to strangers on the street. give hugs to strangers. get out of your comfort zone. learn new shit.
BE HAPPY BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONE LIFE.

seriously. theres so much to smile about if you just forget the bad stuff. or focus on the good stuff.

in the last month or so, i went through a very potent breakup that, to be perfectly honest, left me feeling as if someone had taken a blender and shoved my insides into it. will it blend on youtube shtyle.

i could have moped. i could have cried and listened to taking back sunday and the juliana theory on repeat. i could have sat around hugging my knees in the corner of my room, and to be honest, i cant pretend that thats not what i wanted to do.
when shit goes down, its a natural human reaction to withdraw into yourself to protect yourself. and to anyone who does that, its no problem, people have been doing it forever and people will forever be doing it. hell, its what ive done any other time bad shit hit the relationship fan. which in my (almost) 21 years, has been far too many times.
what made this time different was self motivation. being on stage a couple of times a week making people laugh requires a good attitude. smiling at people on the street requires a good attitude. sitting having tea with the random homeless and talking about shit thats effected them takes a good attitude. so i decided to look after number 1, readjust the frame of mind that i was in and get back into life.

to adjust myself from caring boyfriend marcus to marcus who talks to random girls in bars and gets high fives from all the boys.

to bridge the gaps in your life that naturally occur when you spend 6 months dedicated to making someone happy.

to force myself to drop the baggage and to just move on. smiling.

as much as i miss the comfort of being able to call someone who youre infinitly close to at any time to hang out and cuddle and have crazy sex and banter and watch silly movies while curled up in bed, its the direction my life is going. i am enjoying the bachelor lifestyle and intend to stay as such for a good long while, hopefully meeting some amazing people along the way.


also, listen to seal. specifically kiss from a rose.

uplifting stuff

wow... this quick post has turned into a bit of a self help essay.


im quite tired from having a heroic free night with the kev, so ill try an write some musical poetic goodness tomorrow!

im going to go to sleep listening to my own heart beat now.

night all

much love

marcus :D